Rekindle

I went running today, for quite a while actually. A while in my terms, that is. 

I'm not a great runner but I'm trying to like it. But I get to run in my backyard. and I really like my backyard.

This is Back Bay, it's a nature reserve. It is so unique and people in Newport Beach take it for granted.

It is beautiful and I love running at sunset. It is perfect and peaceful. Let peace flow.

Shutting off and being able to just be and surround myself with a piece of the world that God made to enjoy. So, why wouldn't I find Him there if I'm willing to listen.

The rest of the night felt like one of those two part movies. The first part where everything is as it is. But the second part where you find that all you see isn't all that is there. Thank you Holy Spirit.

I have been trying to make a conscious effort to be.

But not just be. to be here

To invest, and to see God through all.

and it's funny through that all, I'm beginning to understand that God is teaching me in every aspect of daily life. It's overwhelming. In a great and powerful way.

But through that something in me is being rekindled.

Compassion.

I shut it off for a while. Who knew it was possible.

But compassion has found me again and it is almost like having the chance to relive a situation, make the changes where you learned from the past.

You learn from the people of your past. even the ones that hurt you.

I used to listen to this song Better from Brooke Fraser. I would listen to it a number of years ago and cry at the end of the day when I meditated on the lyrics.  At the time it was true. It was the kind of compassion that I had. To be real honest, it is something too much for a human alone to bear.  And I take others' situations as my burdens.

///// Take my shoulder back now

Your head's too heavy for me

Please don't come around here no more

'Cos I asked you to stop

And you wouldn't

[Chorus]

I would give anything to make you better

I would give anything to point you to free

I would give anything to help you realise

I loved you 'til it killed me...////

As I'm seeking Him more, I'm realizing.

I do get a second chance at compassion. It is something I want but it is also something that can kill. I lay it at His feet. 

Gradually, I'm learning.

As I'm drawn to specific people and as I can sit next to them and feel the bricks fall on my chest and feel their hurt. There is nothing I can do.

Except.

live in love.

listen.

and just be.

And be ready for anything.