It's official, I'm an closet emotional wreck.
My mom officially sold the house. She has to be moved to Indiana by may 18th. I leave for Africa, May 15th. I am in school until then. I get back July 15 and I only have 2 weeks before I for sure have to be back at Vanguard, maybe even before that. Then I'm off to finishing up a pointless year it seems like.
My house has been my house since i was 6 months old and though i don't live there on a regular basis it kept a tie to comfortable, if need be. After May 18th I will be an official nomad. With no location to actually call my own. Sure, I'm in California most of the time, but I don't plan on actually living here. I didn't plan on living in Oklahoma either but at least I knew I could claim that in the case that my identity feels lacking. I don't claim Indiana. I never wanted to move there.
I'm excited for my mom, I hope she'll get to move on with her life and not feel like she is stuck. I just hope this doesn't make her close up any more.
I feel like my life is so dysfunctional sometimes, especially between my mom and with my "father." Last night Jessi and I were talking. My dad doesn't even know I'm going to Africa, nor does he know my mom sold the house. And the only reason I saw my dad before was out of convenience a couple times a year...
I just wish I had something tangible.
3 comments:
you are always welcome in oklahoma....you have ties here and many people that love you
i love you so much sweet sam. and casey is right, you have a big huge family....who love you very much too and miss you!
This moved me my dear Samantha. You're in my heart and prayers during this time of flight!
You are a vibrant, sweet bird... and your nest will come in all the right times and places. And this nest of yours just might look different each time. Learn to recognize your bits of family and home wherever it is!
He is preparing a nest for you! I believe that with my whole heart.
I love you. And I have been pleased to share my life with you these past few years. I love you sweet girl!
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