when my soul cries out

my heart hurts right now.

I don't feel worthy to be around most of the people and I have nothing to offer.

I'm so angry right now and I feel like my prayers are like the black plague.
I realized this after the fact of leaving Zim.

I feel trapped and can't escape in the sense that I can't go wherever I please. Nor have the mode to do anything without having someone pick me up. I feel too surfaced to be a part of anything right now.

David's Psalm of Thanks in 1 chronicles 16 has been something I've constantly having to read.
1. On the way to Zim
2. Children at a place called the beer hole
3. In South Africa
4. The group five days after not showering. So good.

community

God provides community in everything.

Realizing this has been such a blessing. We found community within our group (megan and myself), the mission house we are staying at, the projects we are working in, and with the oregon crew. Megan and I are talking how excited we are to build relationships.

things are good.

These pictures are from the other day. We went to two schools and went to a pastor's house to do some painting 

and take part in their youth group.

"Be still and know that he is God"

official first day of summer

Three days to get here, meaning three days of minimal, very minimal sleep. Only to find out everything i thought is totally change. I kind of feel spoiled. I have access to everything as of late. (shower, bed, food, internet whenever i want). At least for today, we have no real plan of what we are doing. Which is exciting.

I slept for 14 hours today and the plan for the day is to chill. I offically do not know what to do with myself. Thus i read the 5 dysfunctions as a team because it's an assignment for when i get back to the states.

Thanks everyone for everything, I will keep you guys updated.

Friends of mine, i love you terribly.

On the 23 of may, amanda and megan and myself will be going on a missions trip with a church team. Who knows who any of those people are.

Then after that, we will decide with Lynne our next plan of action.
This will be good for me.

ps. I'm in none of the places that I have said I was... ;)

Currently I'm in nelspruit, south africa.

I've got nothing. 

it's going to be a beautiful day

third all-nighter of the week. Feeling  pretty good. This one last final I have, I cannot focus worth anything in my life. I've been studying for this test for hours and i still know nothing. I also have to work in 4 hours but I don't want to sleep because I don't want to fall asleep at work by being groggy. This is quite a conundrum . After work I have a final and then have to film something. Then due a lot of stuff before class. ICKY. Then, I am going to a good show. i am going to be potentially awake for about forty hours, potentially more.

I am procrastinating. 

ps. it is my dream to pull an amazing senior prank. 

Gypsy love

the wagon moves from here on

stop

location: 

Cherokee living, some choctaw too. 

Yes, they live in tepees 

on the trail again  

stop

location:

living in lights, the hills are not what they seem 

did you you know everyone is faux 

Again, wheels move 

still moving 

stop

Location: 

white-toothed children, smiling, screaming.

There is another world outside these four walls. 

Moving to another place another town 

stop 

Location: