bury me deep in the arms of the Father

You swallow me whole in the deepest of deeps


I can already tell that this year is going to be full of trials. In positives and negatives. I think this summer prepared me a lot for understanding God and finding him again. But I have this feeling that this year is going to keep pressing me to find him more and more. I think my core is going to be wrenched and wrangled and I am going to be left with little to offer.

For the past three years, devotions and I have been considered foreign land. In Africa, I realized how much I need daily interaction with the father to just sit and be with him. So when I got back, I bought My Utmost for His Highest. Small daily devotions, small baby steps. I was actually reading them every day, until about 2 weeks ago. I am about 2 weeks behind. I've been struggling so much with why I am here and with going back to South Africa and where I will be in a few months. To the point where it's become something I can't get through. I was catching up on some of the daily devotions tonight and I realized that if I had been keeping up, a lot of my struggles would have been addressed in devotion.

Not saying, I wouldn't have struggled but I could have been more prepared for what I was going to be dealing with this week.

In the secret place
I am safe
you keep me
silent screaming
loud silence
it is what it is

there is a dwelling place
where only you can
find the broken
the deepest
darkest
kind of
broken

hear this and know
the secret place
is where he wants
you to listen

through melodies and rhythms
through wind and waves
through every crevice of dwelling

listen to his grace