When the present speaks into the future

Today is the future.

I've had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, it never left.
I had the feeling like I had been here before... but that's impossible time is moving forward. Unless there is something that I do not know about, which could be likely seeing as how I cheated my way through science.
As I sat in my car, thinking about the last 24 hours and the turns that have happened. I remember I have been here before. A year ago today, I was having the same exhausting day, the same type of day where all I wanted to do was scream because maybe then something would come about that I predicted. The sound that would leave my body could quite possibly be the only thing that I would have control of.

One year today, I wrote this.

"I mention this story because we sometimes forget what we are designed for and why. We are allowed to feel emotions. But we are also allowed to let things go.

I want to Exist.

But I want more than just existing.

Stag.nant.

soul

it's time"


 

One year ago today, I had the same thought and voiced it without even knowing I said the same thing 365 days ago. "When it rains, it pours."

I have been here before.

And I will be here again, my questions stands:

Am I Wide awake?
or
Am I still sleeping?

Am I wide Awake?

Am I sleeping?



Sara and I were talking in the car tonight. We just feel off about the passed couple of days; and most people I've been encountering agree.

It's a cross between feeling like you've just woken up and you're almost asleep.

My last few days at the Children's Village in Backdoor, there was an off set feeling. In every room I was in their was unrest. In a matter of six hours I encountered so many weird things and feelings from other people that I was to this point of "chill" let's just all hang out and be merry. But something was definitely off. I began to tell Megan about everything I keep walking into and how I probably should be stressed out but I can't manage that feeling at this given time. After about an hour of explaining everyone's problems of the day, we just sat there. Both of us, which isn't always our first instinct, collectively decided to pray.

I mention this story because we sometimes forget what we are designed for and why. We are allowed to feel emotions. But we are also allowed to let things go.

I want to Exist.

But I want more than just existing.

Stag.nant.

soul

it's time