You're Welcome

Believe me you, you will thank me once I show you my newest discovery. 


Time wasting. This is a nightly reoccurrence. The boy and I use Facebook messaging as our substitute for texting. So, when we are in conversation I have a relationship with my computer. I waste a lot of time online mostly perusing through blogs and pinterest mainly so I don't fall asleep while waiting for the next message. I would only use my phone but it takes me a while to get messages somtimes. 


On my newest blog favorites, a well traveled woman. There are always fun finds. 


Here you have it folks. 

How great is this. 


Constant rain sound. 


I put this on before I went to bed. Instant Sleep. 


It was glorious. 


It just keeps going and going and going. 

Oh, the places you sleep

Sleeping can be quite an adventure

Early on I discovered that I am worthless tired.

But when I am exhausted, I find that falling asleep is easy especially when I don't mean to find myself in a deep slumber. For instance:

1. In my office last year, I would stay up late writing my Media Crit paper. I would spread out all my stuff (research), typically a coffee to my right and a waterbottle to my left and write in the fishbowl (SGA bridge) until the wee hours of the morning. Until, I fell asleep and woke up to people looking at me through the window. Then realizing, I had class in ten minutes,  I had to do the walk of shame at my university and wear the same clothes 2 days in a row. Classy, I know.

2. In my bed. Doesn't sound too out of the norm? I was washing my sheets and my comforter was bunched up on my bed. I had just got home from the hottub, had my swimsuit on, went upstairs for a minute while all my friends were downstairs. I went to sit on my bed for a brief minute and passed out in my swimsuit and no sheets on my bed. All the lights on.

3. In my bed, again. My computer open next to me, and a hard cider in my hand. Yes, I fell asleep with an open drink in my hand next to my computer. I was watching Eclipse with Rose and Jessi and I don't remember the next thing. Except waking up in the morning with my computer put away and my cider out of my hand. Rose put me to sleep. ha ha

I think me falling asleep with a beer in hand was probably one of the better ones.

These are just a few of my highlighted moments.

Oh, the places to sleep

in a bed

in a chair

on a floor

I do not like to sleep

in a bed without a fred

I do not like to sleep

in a chair without a bear

I do not like to sleep

on a floor without a thor

I've been reading too much dr. seuss as of late.

bed in forest, originally uploaded by Owhynie.

This is the next place I would like to fall asleep. 

What about you? 

When the present speaks into the future

Today is the future.

I've had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, it never left.
I had the feeling like I had been here before... but that's impossible time is moving forward. Unless there is something that I do not know about, which could be likely seeing as how I cheated my way through science.
As I sat in my car, thinking about the last 24 hours and the turns that have happened. I remember I have been here before. A year ago today, I was having the same exhausting day, the same type of day where all I wanted to do was scream because maybe then something would come about that I predicted. The sound that would leave my body could quite possibly be the only thing that I would have control of.

One year today, I wrote this.

"I mention this story because we sometimes forget what we are designed for and why. We are allowed to feel emotions. But we are also allowed to let things go.

I want to Exist.

But I want more than just existing.

Stag.nant.

soul

it's time"


 

One year ago today, I had the same thought and voiced it without even knowing I said the same thing 365 days ago. "When it rains, it pours."

I have been here before.

And I will be here again, my questions stands:

Am I Wide awake?
or
Am I still sleeping?

spelunking and the beach

I mean, We could go spelunking? someday

It's ten pm on a friday night. What do you do? five people, 5 bikes and one bike light.

Bethany and I decided to pre-journey to the guys house, more specifically because beth has to return madagascar in which she borrowed from nick. On our way to the guys house we realize we may very well be fined for not having a bike light, so our next possible solution. The house we are about to arrive at has very resourceful and very adventurous boys. Therefore, headlamps. Yes. HEADLAMPS.

Now, as beth is on the search for them in the house, i am left with a few guys and explaining how recently I've come to accept that headlamps might possibly be the greatest invention ever made. They were shocked by my statement, seeing as how it's right up there with food, nutella, and water. Anyways, I was explaining that years ago i'd never be caught dead with one and I will proudly wear one.

2 minutes later bethany walks down with 2 headlamps. On of which is a minimal normal one and the other, is this intense clunky one.

What does bethany do, she hands me the clunky one. I now want to eat my words. And specify that the small non-clunky headlamps are the greatest adventure ever made. This one in my hand is an atrocity.

But not, i've committed, I must bear through it.

My mom told us we looked like aliens, beth and i think we look amazing.

Bike Ride

Now back to the actually journey. Jake, Jessi, Beth, Becca, and I biked to the beach headlamps, flashlights, and all. Jessi has this basket on her bike, we brought along a volleyball too! Everything was running smoothly until we get to Superior and PCH. There is this hill that goes on for about 2 blocks and it goes straight down and it curves. And you get this momentum that is kind of unstoppable and it never fails there is always a red light at the end of the hill. And there was. Luckily we all stopped and the green light happens, one second... jake, becca, bethany, sam, GO! two second. Red light. I'm in the middle of an intersection with 6 lanes of traffic about to come after me and Jessi stuck at the red light. The five of us stop at circle k. Jessi doesn't realize where we go. We see her thinking she saw us. We turn around she is no where to be found. she is in the abyss of darkness. She was alone and away from the pack. We get a phone call, she was on her way to the ocean. We congregate once again. Head to the beach and to the park.

We play some volleyball. Then the police start patrolling the beach. We run. We Hide. I hide on a slide. Bethany sees me and hides on top of me. yes on top of me. why. Because apparently there was no where else to hide. The police leave, ashley shows up.

WE play more volleyball on the beach.. did i mention it's dark outside. Bad idea. The police show up again. We run AGAIN this time, we are spotted. The police watch us intently. We leave. On the biking trail again.

We take a different route. Awful. It was gradually uphill the hole time. We then decide to get donuts at about midnight. We chose the donut store with 4 police surrounding the place. Brilliant. WE got donuts and a free show. All entertaining on a friday night on newport blvd.

We finally get home and decide to go to the pool. It's too cold for that and decide on the spa. After the spa, I fall on my bed. My sheets are not on my bed and I'm in my swimsuit. I don't know how it happened but I woke up 4 hours later.. Still passed out, in my swimsuit and still no sheets on my bed.

Am I wide Awake?

Am I sleeping?



Sara and I were talking in the car tonight. We just feel off about the passed couple of days; and most people I've been encountering agree.

It's a cross between feeling like you've just woken up and you're almost asleep.

My last few days at the Children's Village in Backdoor, there was an off set feeling. In every room I was in their was unrest. In a matter of six hours I encountered so many weird things and feelings from other people that I was to this point of "chill" let's just all hang out and be merry. But something was definitely off. I began to tell Megan about everything I keep walking into and how I probably should be stressed out but I can't manage that feeling at this given time. After about an hour of explaining everyone's problems of the day, we just sat there. Both of us, which isn't always our first instinct, collectively decided to pray.

I mention this story because we sometimes forget what we are designed for and why. We are allowed to feel emotions. But we are also allowed to let things go.

I want to Exist.

But I want more than just existing.

Stag.nant.

soul

it's time