You're Welcome

Believe me you, you will thank me once I show you my newest discovery. 


Time wasting. This is a nightly reoccurrence. The boy and I use Facebook messaging as our substitute for texting. So, when we are in conversation I have a relationship with my computer. I waste a lot of time online mostly perusing through blogs and pinterest mainly so I don't fall asleep while waiting for the next message. I would only use my phone but it takes me a while to get messages somtimes. 


On my newest blog favorites, a well traveled woman. There are always fun finds. 


Here you have it folks. 

How great is this. 


Constant rain sound. 


I put this on before I went to bed. Instant Sleep. 


It was glorious. 


It just keeps going and going and going. 

living in music

close your eyes, stay here for a little while and let your heart skip a few beats. 

Every so often, there is a perfectly placed song that seems to just grab you. This one, was in the new Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn pt 1. It is a beautiful song and it's from a band that deserves some recognition, Sleeping at last.

I listen to it and I just want to live in the lyrics. It's gorgeous.

///// I've waited a hundred years. but i'd wait a million more for you. nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do.

If i had only felt the warmth within your touch, if i had only seen how you smile when you blush, or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough, i would have known what I was living for all along. what i've been living for.

your love is my turning page, where only the sweetest words remain. every kiss is a cursive line, every touch is a redefining phrase. 

I surrender who i've been for who you are, for nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart. if i had only felt how it feels to be yours, well, i would have known what I've been living for all along. what i've been living for.

Though we're tethered to the story we must tell, when i saw you, well, i knew we'd tell it well. with a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas. like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees./////

enjoy. 

Home is where your heart is: I don't remember writing this

Tuesday: 26 April 2011 


Trolley pushing. Terminal searching. Where the fuck is terminal 5. Terminal 1, 2, 3 and 4 all seem to be clearly marked by the heathrow express.

“Excuse me, how do I get to terminal 5,” I ask.

“You’re in terminal 5,” the heathrow attendant remarks.

“mmmm well then terminal 3,” I stutter. Shit, I got the directions confused.

In another trolley parade I go. Back and forth, back and forth.  Today is going on a downward spiral quickly. Next train to terminal 3 in 15 minutes. Perfect, at least I found it. The topheavy Green rucksack maneuvered on my back. Blue French connection bag on my shoulder and heavy camera bag that weighs just as much as my rucksuck in my hand. All balanced perfectly, any sudden movement shakes my thoughts. As I imaginarily topple over into the mind the gap section. Brutal.  I lean on a wall to stop my thoughts.

Ah crap, I’ve only been here for 30 minutes. What to do, what to do.

Unfinished

Always unfinished

No endings

Only moments

Rarely ever a beginning.

An untraceable story

for something that’s dying to be heard

more than words

more than pictures

hear movement

see movement

watch it ebb and  flow

there’s a story that’s dying to be heard

revolution.

As I’m sitting in the London airport, on this layover that is anything but pleasant mainly because I cannot check my bags and explore like I intended on. So I’m stuck in one section without much companion except for a measly computer. I have no desire to drown out my thoughts with movies, nor can I formulate a thought at the moment, and I’m running from my bible. As I have been for the last 2 weeks or so.  I can’t say I feel nothing like normally. In fact, I feel a lot.

Scotland is a fabulous city. London would be a fabulous city if I could explore, but cannot.  I’ve never really been a tourist. In America, sure but that’s always with the knowing that I’m returning somewhere within days and maybe once or twice in mexico, but once again—that’s still America. But as I tour Scotland, I think I could live here but can’t really picture it. My heart isn’t really for Scotland. Although, it’s a lovely place to visit friends. As I’m on my flight to London from Glasgow—I picture myself in the bush. On field—doing something. African travel seems like a breeze compared to UK/European travel. In Africa travel if something doesn’t work out it’s automatically assumed TIA (This is Africa)—Let’s make a plan. But in UK/European when something doesn’t work out a rise of blood begins and the only words crossing through your mind are cross. Shit. Fuck. Dammit. 

Excuse my language, but I’m just needing to be brutally honest right now.

But take me back to African life. And not just to South Africa which I have began to view as my second home. Not so much in the metaphorical sense but in an actual physical sense. As in I miss my bright pink bed and my family bound through Christ—and other minor factors.

But take me back and put me where I’m called to be. Among something greater. A calling that requires all of me.             

           

Floating

I'm a floater. I'm not sure if I like the categorization. I find that there are pros and cons with that description. These days, I seem to be pulling more cons. Give it another month or two, I will probably change my mind.

Floating. It has this glamour effect. The wind moves, and you move. Easy as it sounds?
Maybe in a fairytale. Clouds don't hold you. Plummeting through them is typically what happens.  In fairytale's, logic is not required and the monotonous daily tasks aren't accounted for. In a fairytale, who thinks about cleaning and making ends meet. The ends are already met and every aspect of life sparkles.

In real life, the ends don't always meet (at least not always when we want or how we want it to).

But thinking about this makes it more and more apparent that we are not intended for this world. We have always been created to work. We have been given that authority and that privilege. It says that in Genesis. But, I don't think we were created for what this world has to offer. This distorted viewpoint where material things are supposed to satisfy where money is supposed to rule the world. We work to live.  As opposed to, we work for money in order to live. Now there is a standard that allows there to be another god that has given power and authority to something that does not truly have that.

I think of what C.S. Lewis said:

Source: Uploaded by user via Diana on Pinterest

Some days are resting on waves and other days are crashing waves.
 
But where is my mindset when these things are happening?

Am I making a home for myself in a world that is not mine in the end.

And my prayer is

that my eyes be fixed on you 

  &

       that my heart be attuned to yours 

Photography Practice

sil·hou·ette/ˌsilo͞oˈet/

Verb:	Cast or show (someone or something) as a dark shape and outline against a lighter background.
Noun:	The dark shape and outline of someone or something visible against a lighter background, Source: girlwithoutwings.tumblr.com via Samantha on Pinterest Source: sidebysideblog.blogspot.com via Samantha on Pinterest

I really enjoy silhouettes, I've always known the general idea of how to do them but never really mastered it. Until, I decided today is the day. This is the moment and I'm going to do it. 

So, I did it. 

 

Random nights and wrong addresses

I have a love for random and spontaneous night. Especially when good people and music are involved.

Last night was a defining moment for all of those things. 


It started last week at a Give Prints photoshoot that I was styling. The Giveprints team started talking to our models(guy and girl) and discovered one of them lived about a block from me. Then discovered that I had in fact encountered the guy before at various shows that he plays at. I'm a fan of the projects he plays in. But he proceeds to tell us that he is having an actual hootenanny. 


So why not go, it was within walking distance of my house. I went and had a blast and oddly enough ran into a handful of people that I know. I loved that this guy planned this event, a good hundred people, music, firepits, laughs, chili cookoff and brews all ingredients to a successful night. 


Then after Bethany and I picked up Olivia to go to this art show in LA to see one of Bethany's friends. This art show was in little Tokyo and with miscommunication and a wrong address. We went on a search. First stop, comic book convention. How in the world this happened, no idea. Hilarious all the same. 


After multiple circles around 2nd street we finally ended up at the correct location. I look at the art show lineup and see that a friends boyfriend was also at the show. Only to find out, all the random people I knew again were there. Not a single one of us planned the outing. And logically in all of our minds we wouldn't place each other at the art show. The art show was at times questionable but interesting, thought provoking. Overall, a good time.  It was great to see all the people. 


After about an hour or so. The girls and I decided that we needed food. After a few more circles around to find a place. I noticed a place that I had been to before with a friend and next door to the restaurant was another place that looked promising. Far Bar.   Success. It was perfect. 


Random assortment of food a cross between middle eastern, to burgers, to sushi-- all great ideas. Good drink selection and perfecting setting. We discovered the outside bar that was great. Twinkle lights giving the appeal that were stars, brick walls and heat lamps. 


It was a nice, non-stressful outing that can sometimes be accompanied with the typical LA hustle and bustle. 


And to end the night with a long skype date. 




I'm a fan. 

Photograph: one of my favorites

Meet Maria. I love her. I think of her often.

She lives in Mozambique and I think this picture captures her perfectly. She was born to stand out.

This photo is in my top ten.