Showing posts with label Blast from the Past. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blast from the Past. Show all posts

16 September 2012

Hoarding.

Hoarding. 

I would call myself a mild hoarder. I try to save everything and attempt to find a use for it. But eventually, I get tired with all the mess and just start throwing stuff away. Often times I regret my decisions. Usually a week or so later, I will decide that I truly needed--------- (insert object here). 

But then there are those times that I'm so glad I hoard things. Like last night. I was going through all my old college papers/notes. Yes, I still have most everything. In my defense a lot of it is various writings and things that I would hopefully deem useful if I went to grad school. Sometimes I dwell on the idea that I used to write. Here is one of those findings. 


It's that time again. Wednesday. Three O' Clock. Screenwriting 2009. There is a classroom and a handful of students sitting in the second row, closest to the aisle-- Sam sits. Medium height girl with grey eyes and constant out of control wavy hair. She stares into space. Maybe another world, maybe another universe.  
          "Sam," said the Professor.  
No sound, no response.  
          "Sam, are you present?"  
Still nothing.  
Sam blinks. She is sitting in Zimbabwe. The sky is pitch black and all she can see are the stars above her. Sam is a meidum height girl with grey eyes and her hair is even more out of control because she hasn't showered or touched her hair in five days. She gazes at the stars and ponders.  
         "Sam," said Jayde.  
Nothing, no response. 
        "See any shooting stars yet?" 
Sam blinks.  
        "Ever wish you were somewhere else," she murmurs. 

Just to give you a little back story. This was written months after I met this boy. This was written almost 2 years before I started dating him. I think I've been rather smitten for more than a little while. 

31 August 2009

When I was dumb

Yes, when I was dumb *


Many ages ago, I had this dear friend. His name shall remain nameless-- in case he ever so decides to search for me and find this. We shall call him William Wallace, just to clarify that he does truly exist and does have a name.

My freshman and sophomore year of highschool William Wallace and I were inseparable. We would write notes to each other through every passing period, we would text, we would go over to each others houses. He would skateboard to my house in the wee hours of the night with his best friend. One of my best friend's at the time was dating his best friends. But I should have known, he'd fall for me. Never fear though William Wallace and I would never get awkward, partially because he would never fully tell me. Just very much imply it. But he was too shy to say anything. I on the other hand could never decide what my feelings were for him. So, I left it there.

The problem in this situation lies in the fact that he pursued me for over a year without me realizing it. Tonight, I was listening to a song with some dear friends of mine, jason and ashley. And I was screaming at the top of my lungs. Then it hit me, I had to kill the music.

"I just realized why one of my best guy friends in highschool pursued me for so long...'

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst to break or bury or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.



These words right here are the lyrics to a Dashboard Confessional song called Hands Down. This was my favorite song, I wrote these lyrics on every single note I wrote to William Wallace. Keep in mind as lyrics that were always stuck in my head meaning nothing. But him most likely taking it as hope.

So, this is an apology.

Dear William Wallace,

I apologize for breaking your heart, it never occured to me that I was the reason that kept you hanging on for so long. Enjoy the rest of your life. I'm glad you have a gorgeous love now, you deserve the best.

to friendship,
Samantha e. May









* Note: I am still apt to be dumb, but the implication is for a time of the past in this reference.