a list

Mainly because I can't seem to focus my brain on one single subject at the moment, I'm going to make a list. Then you will semi-understand that I think I am going insane,

Note to self, write this down. Map out + brand your blog future. 

side note: create another new blog that fits the purpose to write freely and creatively. 

To visit the United States or not? 

A prayer: Jesus clear my mind. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to dream or not dream in my slumber but just give me clear focus that isn't hazy from irrational notions of fear and paranoia. 

Maybe I should take a technology fast for a bit. Or maybe it should just be a pinterest fast. I miss the days of creating without there being a shadow of someone else being exactly like you. Or someone saying, Oh yeah I say that on pinterest. 

To move or not to move? 

Is thinking about buying a house even a good idea. 

I miss having a 9-5 job. I hated having a 9-5 job. In general, I miss having a job. 

It would be really awesome to have a house that's community based and Jesus-centered. Plus, have a community garden and some chickens. 

Note to self: Read up on Pinterest how to garden. 

Are my thoughts normal? 

I'd love to photograph people more. I'm afraid of people. 

Maybe, I should learn how to drive again. Meh, another day. 

I miss sandy toes and the ocean's waves.

I should make a happy list. 

I wish I created more. 

I just forgot my next thought. 

thinking

still thinking

it's gone 

Maybe I should go work out. 

No, I'll let the french toast I just finished settle. 

I wish Jayde was here. 

His job sucks. 

Maybe I should consider grad school again...

The list actually continues but writing down all my thoughts is kind of exhausting. 

Am I having a nervous breakdown? 

iphone case

So if you know me, I have really awful luck. 

I've gone through more phones than I can count. It's not that i'm irresponsible, it's mainly because I'm just clumsy and absent minded and drop everything. I think butterfingers is a more accurate description. When I got my iphone, I bought an otterbox. like the protective case on top of a protective case. My cute petite iphone turned into a giant monster phone. Everyone kind of makes fun of me. But when that first time that it slipped through my fingers and bounced on the concrete. I knew it was worth the money. 

But the other day, I had a $30 dollar credit from shutterfly that was expiring in less than an hour. I didn't want it to go to waste. Normally, I use my credits towards gifts or test our their stuff to see what my photography looks like on whatever the object is. Since, I didn't have time to make a photobook or a thoughtful gift for someone. Also, I didn't want anymore "stuff" in my collection of "stuff." I've been trying to de-clutter. (My closet might say otherwise.) So, I settled for this cover. I like it a lot and would for sure customize one for a gift someday in the future. 

Now, don't get my wrong, I'm terrified that I'm going to drop my phone and break it within a day now. The minute I have my first scare, I will probably switch it out. In the meantime, it's nice to have a chance and I love looking at all the pictures over the last year with people I love and places I have been. 

the creative brain

Think about all the things that you do. 

Okay, now think about all the things you wish you did. 

Where do you find joy? 

I have this friend Emily. 

In a nutshell: She is one of my favorites. She is absolutely phenomenal and every time I spend any glimpse of time with her, I feel incredibly lucky. She never complains. She doesn't judge.  She has a servant's heart and loves people. She also is probably one of the funniest and wittiest people too.  I really enjoy spending time with her. 

So here's how it went. 

We met up at one of our catch up spots, the Gypsy Den. We start chatting. 

"Do you still take pictures outside of work?" Emily asks. 

"Not really, I sit at a computer shoot/edit all day. The last thing I want to do is shoot/edit all night too," I say. 

Then we resonate on the topic of creativity. Emily and I both need creativity. 

I hope you can understand what I say by need. It's not something that we like to do. It's something that we need to incorporate into our lives daily to function, to process who we are, to process life and whatever may come. This comes like a light subject but it really comes with a heavy heart. 

Emily makes a schedule for the week allotting herself 30 minutes to do what she wants to do. Blog, Guitar, paint, etc... 

I do the same. I write what creative endeavor I need to do for the day to predestine that it will happen. Which seems completely out of the element of what creativity should be. It should just happen, right? Only in a perfect world. 

But Instead,  Emily and I both do similar things. 99.9% of the time my discipline fails me.  We do whatever we can to turn our brains off. Which is rather hard to do for the both of us. As great as shutting our brain off for a night sounds. A discipline that is important every so often, it is still something that kills creativity. Especially when making it a nightly ritual. 

So here I am wondering if anyone feels the same. How do you motivate yourself to keep the creative juices flowing especially when you just want to shut your brain off? 

Oh, Sweet Paul

so much inspiration, so much beauty. It's like chocolate for the eyes. 

It's been a challenging week in the world of photography. I may even go out on a limb and agree that my boss feels the same. It is difficult, something that you know you can do and the images and inspiration just doesn't come out naturally like one might think it should. And rather disheartening when you spend hours and hours on one shot that something is missing in it. Anywhere from a wrong color pairing to a prop that is way out of place or in image in your mind that just doesn't exist yet. Where you need time to culminate it but the time does not exist because it needs to be now. That's the joys/whoas of working in a fast paced environment. Creativity must be forced or settled on. For the creative type, that's rather crutching. Hopefully, that this is understood elsewhere. So what else is there to do but take a minute and find some inspiration. 

Sweet Paul is a publication the diminishes clutter and is appealing to the eye. It's lovely. I want to live in most moments as I devour every page. 

                                                                                                                                                     

Creative: Pretty in Purple Pearls

There is this bead shop that I really love. The only problem, it's in Oklahoma. Lucky for me, bad for my wallet, it was only a few blocks from the house I grew up in. Any time I make it back to Oklahoma I make a list of places and people. The Bead Merchant is always at the top of my list. They have such a unique selection of beads. The place is still bad for my wallet. Now, it's even worse because I want to buy everything. I always find a bunch of great beads and then consolidate at the end. I suffer from extreme buyers remorse. It's the only way that I can justify what I do. Here are some of my latest creations with beads from my favorite shop. 





This one was inspired by this one. (I'm not sure why it turned out sideways.) 

Source: shopbop.com via Samantha on Pinterest

And then some earrings I made over the weekend. 

Crafting: 5 minutes

Hello...

The last little while I've been swamped with life. I am sure you all can relate. The problem, I kept trying to set aside time to focus on a Mother's day card. And anytime I had more than 30 minutes, I was too drained to even think about it. Also too drained to go to the store and find a heartfelt card. I am an awful daughter but when I say I have been brain dead-- It's not an overstatement. 

So last night before bed, I realized this has to be done right now or else I will be more than late on a card. If I am late on doing something, I eventually just don't do it. 

I wanted to do something simple and colorful, not complicated. I came up with some cards that I actually really like and they took me less than 5 minutes. What can be better. 

Introvert Inspiration

couch inspiration as well.

Stay up late, wake up early.

It is a torturous cycle. The night owl gets the best of me especially in times of extreme interrelatedness. Recently, I've been working a ton. I'm grateful honestly-- in fact, I need to work more.

Anyways, that's another tangent but after work today, I was just so exhausted from every aspect of life and I was just tired of thinking. I cleared all my dates and just sat. For the last 5 hours, brainless movie after brainless movie, hours upon hours swooning over rob ryan prints and lovely art by Camila do Rosario .

This number is from his 2nd year anniversary of in business. Limited Edition. I read it and said I must have this until I read the price. Thank Goodness I did because I had my credit card ready to go. Eek.

But it is on my want/never going to have list that I'm quite sad about.



Now that midnight is approaching and I have to be up for work in the next 8 hours, I am now energized and fully inspired to create.

To be responsible or not to be?